Picturing fatigue





Picturing fatigue At the centre it may look calm But is it Or is this beyond exhaustion Where thought is no longer possible Where choices are stripped away Where rest is all that's left Exhausted rest Eventually you emerge Squinty eyed and nervous Step by step Testing energy Creeping forward Finding balance Trying to be sensible It must be possible But no Onto the roundabout you go Centrifugal forces at play Pushing rest further away Doing more each day Forgetting the impact The exhaustion kickback That will have you on your knees if you don't stop But you can't stop Because it feels so great To be back in the world That might sound absurd But it feels amazing To be doing the cleaning Doing anything Literally anything Seeing people Chatting Creating Living That's all it is Normal living But with our condition That's a dangerous rhythm It feels smooth Until we lose hold And crash back through Hitting a level or two Of frustration Desperation Until again We find ourselves at the beginning Body Resting Mind Resting Enforced Resting Not doing anything But hopefully gaining Learning So we're slowly improving Our way of living .. I didn't know the mandala I created yesterday was going to hit me with this level of force today. It's been cathartic to write.

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