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Living with an eating disorder


When emotional

Consumes all energy

Tuning into feelings

Quietens inner


I have lived with eating disorders since before I was a teenager. I've used food as a way of feeling in control in my life and I've abused food as an enemy and a lover rather than as a fuel. Over the decades I've cycled through anorexia, bulimia and binge eating, as well as so many diets I've lost count. 13 years ago I walked into an upstairs room in a church and attended my first ever overeaters anonymous meeting and have been in a journey of recovery ever since, one day at a time. I didn't eat because I'm greedy, I'm not lazy or stupid; I used food as a way of coping with life, as a way of dealing with my mental health. I am not alone in this! It is why diets don't work long term - because most people who are overweight know the facts and the theories but need psychological support. More recently I've found peace within intuitive eating and highly recommend the beyond chocolate community for finding a healthy way of living. I will probably always be very overweight because my metabolism is completely messed up and my body thinks it's constantly starving. I literally have to eat less than 400 calories a day to lose weight, at least that's how it was before covid but Covid has seen me shrink at least a dress size. That is not healthy for anyone and extremely triggering for someone in recovery from eating disorders. But, despite how I might look in terms of my weight, my heart is healthy, my circulation is great, my blood pressure is normal and I have no cholesterol problems. Even my blood sugar is normal despite the fact that I'm taking daily steroids. I love to see the faces of doctors when they look at my results and realise that not every overweight person has all the negative issues of an overweight person. I'm sharing this because the news yesterday was full on fat shaming; stating that being overweight is the main risk factor for becoming very unwell with covid. Then saying if we all ate less and moved more we'd lose weight etc etc etc. this is lazy journalism! The actual risk factors are high cholesterol, high blood pressure, sticky blood, diabetes. And yes, those are more prevalent in people who are overweight, but they also exist in those who aren't overweight. Please can we stop fat shaming, beating people up who feel awful about their weight issues doesn't help them - in fact it's likely to make them hate themselves more and then turn to food to try and find comfort! For more information I recommend the following organisations:


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