top of page

December Paintings and Poems

Writer's picture: Emma MajorEmma Major

I haven't included every poem and painting I created in December, but below are some highlights. You can also find my advent creativity here and my Pause and Pray exhibition and advent course here



Upon reflection

Burning candles at both ends

Wasn't sensible


Is my truth historically important

Possibly not

Probably not

Absolutely not

But it is important to me

That I can look back and see

What I've survived

On this rollercoaster of life


Maybe next year

Endings will no longer scare me

Perhaps I will find a steady stillness

Within the alchemy of chaos


The forest is where the trees nestle together

Wondering about the weather

Pondering the future

Worrying about humanity's ending

And how nature will mourn their passing

Will anyone hear their warning?


I long to be beautifully numb

To inhabit lifeless frames

Rather than living in the shadows

Of pain


Ink forges truth through flame and pain


Behold the glory

Of candlelight on dark nights

Offering prayers

For those who are suffering

In the world tonight


Revere soft whispers

Memories on emerald waves

Time held in stillness



My mind is famous

Infamous

Fastidious

At ruining everything

In retrospect

I introspect

I'm constantly over thinking

Over analysing

Reenacting

Absolutely everything I've ever said and done

Sure that I've probably

Definitely

Unbelievably awfully

Got it wrong

Said it wrong

Done it wrong

And not just about yesterday

Or last week

Or last month

But events from twenty years ago

Or more

Yes more!

In the middle of the night I'm remembering

Worrying

Reviewing

Memories of ancient days

Tiny moments

Little comments

They pop up at 3am

I mean how is that good for me

That's why I write poetry

Loose myself in creativity

But then I start to think

Is my brain on the blink

Why can't I remember useful things

But no, it's all "do they hate me?"

And "might they forgive me"

And "I've a horrid personality

Not anything useful like "that's where I left my keys!"

Oh deary me

Is this only me?


Swallowed by the storm of evergreen destruction, we melt in the eyes of greed

Blinded by the blizzard of conspiracy, nature's fury fans the flames of panic

Futilely we tramp at the edges whilst failing wishes turn to ashes in the grate

Cracks in the pavement swallow half-hearted promises where tiny plants cling with desperation

The absence of action mirrors memories of hindsight, perhaps it's too late

Yet we inscribe ironic imagery in the shadows of spring sunshine, rather than act

Nature's faith in us is fading as it approaches the horizon

Writing our eviction notice on the wings of angels


Over time we age

Yet within I feel still young

Reflections distort


Foggy minds must rest

Allowing the peace of time

To clarify truth


Reforming hope

Reworking compassion

Mosaicking peace

My mind is a creative place

An unbelievably busy place

Best depicted as an arts facility

Filled with rooms of creativity


In a side room there is poetry

Where the world is lived surreally

There I don't need to bite my tongue

I can say it as it is for me


To the left there are songs and tunes

Some found in just a single note

Whilst others loop a couple of lines

There's a song for every moment of time


To the right a room of colour explodes

Catching my attention in my minds eye

So many patterns and explosions at once

An endless creative artistic dance


Up above there's a funky rhythm

Gets my fingers tapping

Whilst my feet are beating

Syncopating, creating


Out the back there's a space for rumination

Wondering about the state of the nation

Pondering if I can help the world improve

Full of ideas that I'll never use


In the garden I can hear the birds

See elephants in herds

There I can swim in coral reefs

A great place to get natural relief


There are many more rooms, more spaces and places

All demanding attention with exciting inventions

It might sound exhausting but to me it's sustaining

I'm never bored, I'm constantly creating



In the ashes of health

Blackened wood glittered in grief

Is carved with gilded gifts of hope

Overcoming the allure of darkness


As frost bitten hearts skate on thin ice

Silvered sunlight warms fearful souls

Snowflakes sparkling in moonlight

Encourage a taste of new beginnings



Art Connects

My soul to yours


Life is art

An act of creativity


The art of listening requires practice

Silence your need to respond


When I smile

Seemingly without pain

I reassure you

I'm still in pain

Again


Inclusion

Most days it is just an illusion


Life

The illusion of control

Whilst letting go of expectation


Every year the same

The idea of a birthday is bleak

In anticipation my mind starts to creak

Leak

Shriek


It's not about the number

That is merely a mathematical count

No more meaningful one second to another


It's not about gathering

That can be a pleasure

It's not about the presents or cards or cake

All of that is great


There's something about coming into focus

Being placed in the centre

When that was always a point of denigration

Humiliation

Limitation


There's something about not feeling worthy

Not being good enough

That I'm undeserving

It's really unnerving


As the month approaches

There's a hint of dread

And as the days click by the feelings grow

Imperceptibly

Invisibly

Silently

It's a snowball effect

There's a blizzard inside my head

I want to run away

Get away

Or hide away


With a few days to go

All of a sudden

It comes to an end

As if an avalanche has come in to land

I start feeling calmed

The panic subsides

All the worry is put aside

As rational thought arrives


Each year it gets a bit easier

The cycle a little shorter

The recovery quicker

Because, although age is just a number

It is a reminder

Of a successful journey

Of recovery

And discovery

At being me



Angels whisper powerfully in swirling white mists

Creating agitated storms of desire for peace 

Whilst dictators swirl and twirl ominously

Lighting dangerous plans in oceans of fire

We wait, caught in the monumental tussle

Breathlessly held between hope and fear 

Preparing to ride the tide however it flows 

Trusting that good will conquer evil this time


At this time of year everything is magical

As the Christmas lights sparkle

While the snowflakes settle

And drips create icicle

We feel hibernational

So we read something classical

Or watch a play theatrical

Accompanied by the firewood crackle

There's some change happening internal

Is it biological

Perhaps it's physiological

Habitual or generational

We feel a call to become less external

It's time for a quiet sabbatical

Which might be liberational


Sorry caller

I can't come to the phone right now

Or ever

Haven't you heard of email

Or messages

Or carrier pigeons

Please don't ring again


As women it seems we must be

Submissive and always agree

I'm not up for that

I'll come in to bat

If you need help

You can ALWAYS rely on me



At Christmas everything isn't always joyful and bright

Not everyone welcomes the winter madness

Silver bells may not ring on silent nights

There may be more tears and sadness



Nature's breath fills the air

Darkness transforms into light


Sugar plum fairies

Serenade snowy woodlands

Candlelit blessings


In the quiet glow of morning light

I greet this day my heart alight

Fifty years have come and gone

Each one a note in life's long song


Thankful whispers ride the breeze

For surviving days upon my knees

For laughter echoed in student rooms

Where love unfolded like springtime blooms


Another turn around the sun

Some battles lost, some races run

Lessons learned as tears were cried

Faith ignited as doubting died


Every wrinkle a warm embrace

A story etched upon my face

Of joy and sorrow intertwined

Of friendships long and love refined


Through storms I’ve danced and rain I’ve run

Each heartbeat valued beneath the sun

Trusting in time, softly reveals

That with patience every scar will heal


Here I sit on this yearly shore

Grateful for life and longing for more

I'll wheel down paths long, wild and wide

Believing in times where hopes reside


Though fifty speaks of winding ways

It promises adventure in future days

I'll raise a glass to the past now done

Embracing each day, one by one


Enthralled by nature

Winter snow and mistletoe

Waterfalls in mist



Wild moonflowers reach deep through the dark elegance of the earth

Searching for the tailored tears of roots and leaves

For ancient sustenance passed through generations

In an endless cycle of rejuvenation

Unbreakable

Unfathomable

Eternally reliable

Perfection



Stunning shooting stars

Speeding away from your sight

Under arcade lights


Under arcade lights

Drinking with cupid again

Warming frozen hearts


Warming frozen hearts

With tales of Christmases past

Romancing the moon



It's 3am. I'm awake again

Cradling myself gently

Creating a barrier to the cold

I'm clutching my skin warmly


Through the windows I listen

The world is suspiciously silent

Except snow doused in starlight

There's no perceptible movement


Winter has put the world to sleep

Everything snoring lightly

Snow garnishes the present

Wrapping us up perfectly


Snowflakes dance in the air

Each unique just like grains of sand

Excitably they begin to connect

Anticipating the cushion of land


As they melt and combine

Their forms are elevated

Into a new beginning

Perfected. Interrelated


Melting memories of ice

Excitedly whisper wishes in the wind

Creating Christmas nostalgia

For the tales that are about to begin


I can recall vividly the very moment

When my need to be always out and about

Transformed itself, inside out

Into a deep desire to stay at home

Suddenly I was happy to inwardly roam

To be alone

Knowing that loneliness cuts deeper in a crowd

Than when I'm creative on my own

That moment of change was hard won

Through many hours of therapy

When I learned to accept me

Beyond the judgement of society

Or memory

Or past versions of how I thought I should be

Finally knowing that it's ok to live life internally

Slowly

Deeply

Imaginatively

Creatively

Poetically

Prayerfully


In the long night the moon hung so bright

Birdless sky wrapped up in soft white

A sanctuary of snow

Where eerie moments flow

Quiet reverie bathes us in light


Moments of winter take flight

Dancing stars breaking through the night

With whispers so rare

Nature's breath fills the air

The stillness transforms into light


Nostalgia resurrects long forgotten dreams

Keeping kindness alive through glacial grief

Tiny miracles wrapped in cloaks of regret

Seek a fresh source of serendipity

Whilst sanctified snowstorms

Rain ashes of love from heaven


Between the island of longing

And mountains with willows of infatuation

I wander through the breeze quietly whispering

Each sigh an echo of a fleeting sensation


The tides pull me close to shores uncharted

Where dreams weave like tentacles around my tired heart

The peaks stand guard their shadows departed

A contrast between yearning and friends torn apart


In this natural place hope unfurls it's delicate wings

The trees cradling secrets softly unsaid

Under the canopy spring passion clings

In laughter and tears that tread light as thread


Here we linger forever two travellers entwined

Between endless seas and mountains undefined


In the chill of polar nights we hibernate

Barely aware of ringing frozen bells

Darker days linger in quiet debate

Whilst hope resurges and happiness swells


The gift of love warms hearts once frozen

Gentle touches that ignite memory

Stringing lights through shadows of corrosion

Awakening souls in shared symphony


Winter sings cold hearted songs to hear

As we cling to spark of light in the gloom

Each dawn a beacon driving away fear

As starry nights beam solace into the room


Every fleeting moment a gift of grace

Love dances through time blessing this space


Perhaps this is the year I stop pretending everything is ok

When I pull aside the shutters of my life

To reveal the stacks of grief neatly arranged

Fastidiously filed

Ready to explode in the face of anyone who takes a peak


These tombs without labels beckon me in the silence of night

Promising warmth and light in memories forgotten

Yet only coldness lives inside these coffins

Waiting patiently to vacuum positivity

Leaving only the shell of me

Paddling in the tears of painful years


If you look long enough

Deep enough

You can see heaven

In almost anyone

In kindness for strangers

Or worrying about dangers

In helping the homeless

Or speaking up for the voiceless

In listening to children

Or thanking the generous

It's in the simplest humanity

That we bloom eternally

Connection doesn't need to be perfection

It's the love in every action


In this world I do not need to be anything

And neither do you

Or anyone else

We don't need to earn our right to take up space

We don't need to conquer troubles or win a race

We can let go of expectations put upon us

And allow ourselves to grieve any loss

No matter what messages we hear or see

Everyone is worth their place in society

Consumerism isn't the only way

Loving each other

Creates much better days

1 view0 comments

Recent Posts

See All

Comments


bottom of page